离开和安定下来

最近和几个新的朋友相处了一段短短的时间，和他们的谈天引发了一些感慨，一些我已经几乎遗忘了的感触。他们问我，“你在荷兰多少年了？”我说，“也有6年了吧。”“那之前呢？”“我在英国有将近3年了。”“所以总的来说，你已经离开马来西亚十年了？”说真的，这一段对话我已经重复的一不同的新朋友交换过。他们继续问：“那你为什么离开荷兰而到上海来呢？”我想，我想安定下来吧，而亚洲毕竟是我的地方，所以很自然的会想要回来。我也说过，我离开了几乎可以说是我家的荷兰，来到一个绝对陌生却渴望是我家的中国，这一个决定，是否是对的，我想没有一个人可以给我真正的答案。我想，时间也未必能解答。

最后，我的决定是，何必思考那么多，计划那么远呢？有一些时候，我们会得不到我们想要的，尽管我们想要的是多么的微小。

Recently, I have spent some time with some of my new friends here. Talking to them reminded me of something that I almost forgot. They asked me, "how long have I stayed in Netherlands?". I said, "Roughly 6 years now.","Then, before that?","I have stayed in Britain for almost 3.5 years". "So, in total, you have stayed outside Malaysia for almost 10 years now?". Frankly, this conversation I have had for a number of times with different new friends. They continue asking me, "So, why did you leave Netherlands and come to Shanghai?" I think, I want to settle down, and somehow Asia is "my place". Therefore, naturally I just like to come back. I have said once before, I have left Netherlands, a place that I can almost call it home, to a total strange place china, a place that I wish I could call home. Whether this is a correct decision, I don't know really know, and I don't even think time can ever answer that.

Finally, my decision is, why do I have to consider everything so much, and plan so far ahead? Sometimes we cannot have what we want, no matter how small of that thing is.