Stop... Start

一直以来我都活在担心的日子中--钱不够用，工作表现不佳，账单还没有还，家里人需要什么，等等等等。我工作了几年，总觉得自己很没用，能省下来的钱也不够买房子，借了房贷，要换上好几十年，而且现在想好好的装修业有心无力。所以，无论我花多少钱（除了花在家人身上），都会有一点内疚。今天我终于在香港工作生活了，是我在上海工作生活时的一种梦想，一种想要体验的生活。但是在香港很可惜（也没用的）是我的薪水没有很高，生活的费用却大大提高。我现在尝试告诉自己：停止所有的担忧，开始生活的享受。但是，真的可以这样吗？我就是想住得舒服一点，对自己好一点，却为什么会觉得很愧疚。这是一种奢侈吗？

Ever since I have studied/worked overseas, I am always worried about -- money not enough, savings not enough, work is not performing well, bills are not paid, family is in need, etc. I have been working for few years now, yet I don't think I have saved a lot, at least not enough to buy a house. I have to borrow mortgage, and it needs tens of years to pay all them back. Even now, I don't think I can afford a good renovation. Therefore, no matter how much money I spend (except on my family of course), I will feel guilty. Now that I am working and living in Hong Kong, which is a dream I have since I have started working in Shanghai. Sadly, not big increment in my salary, yet a big raise in my living expense. I tried to convince myself, I should stop worrying, start enjoying. I just want to live in a better environment, treat myself better, and somehow I will feel all the guilt. I would think sometimes it is a waste of money...