Trips....

Decided to take a break from the real world and visiting Netherlands and England for a change in this Chinese New Year. Frankly, I was feeling all guilty about it because I didn't go back to Malaysia to spend time with my precious family. However, I am still not over with the whole "disappointment thing" just yet. I guess I am still working my courage to face them - how shallow and immature I am for my age - yeah I wonder...

First of all. I want to thank my best friend Freddie for taking me in in Netherlands. My trip to London was like walking the memory lane - sadly, mostly bad. However, while walking in the busy street among all the strangers, I sometimes would put myself in their shoes imagining their lives, and how I want to make any sorts of decisions if I were having their lives. It was intriguing, and at the same time, scary. I wonder when I have picked up such weird yet amusing hobby! For instance, in the famous (well, I just assume it is famous because of all the crowd) Primark, I saw a Islamic lady with her family shopping for clothes like buying wholesale, I would picture myself having a luxurious home with too much money to spend, yet I would spend them at budget. By the way, I love this store because of all the "affordable" price tags!

While roaming in the streets of London, under the mostly gloomy, blue, grayish (as I remember how it was), I was constantly thinking of my family feeling guilty as such. I blame myself for my incompetence to fulfill my parents' wish, yet I blame them for pushing their children too much and implanting their hope on them. Anyway, that's just cliche. In overall, I was having a buzz in London during this family season. 

Back in Netherlands, and soon in few days back in China, Shenzhen. I really need to reevaluate my life, my dream and what I want in 2 years (frankly 5 years would be too long in this dang age). I want to have a job I like or enjoy, earning enough to buy some Apple alike gadgets for myself and my family!